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Tankspridd

Det är skola imorgon. Alltså borde jag sova nu, åtminstone lagt mig i sängen, stängt ögonen och försökt sova.
Men istället sitter jag här och stirrar på datorskärmen, utan att fästa blicken på något speciellt, medan tankarna flyger omkring i huvudet. Helt vilda.
Jag önskar så att jag bara kunde stänga av en stund, stänga av alla tankarna och bara njuta av nuet. Njuta av det jag har, den sista terminen tillsammans med de fina tjejerna i Häst3, njuta av att jag har mina hundar, och min familj som stöttar mig i allt. Njuta av att jag haft turen att få lära känna så många fina människor över hela landet.
Istället läggs tankarna och energin bara på sedan, efter studenten och jag får ingen ro överhuvudtaget. Ingen alls. Bara ett enda trassel och en ständig klump i magen.
Jag önskar jag var modig nog att bestämma mig för en plats & en utbildning. Och sen ta det som det kommer. Men det är så mycket som ska stämma, med hundar, lägenhet, möjlighet att ta sig till Ösd. osv. Och, poff, så hade det lilla kontrollfreaket satt sig på axeln och tagit över allt. Och passat på att släppa ut alla orostankar när han ändå var i farten…
Livet är inte enkelt. Hur gärna jag än hade velat att det var det.
Men det ordnar sig, på ett eller annat sätt, var än i sverige jag hamnar, och vad jag än kommer pyssla med.
Det gör det alltid Sofie, tillslut…

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