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och hopplöshetskänslan.

IMG_1957 IMG_1958

Kände mig inte ens nervös imorse, när vi rullade iväg mot lydnadstävling.
Tvärtom – kände mig lugn, och kände att idag blir en bra tävling.
Diezel har ju gått kalas på träningarna senaste veckan.

Men näe. Han satte sig upp på platsen, efter att jag gått bara några meter, missade sättandet i z:at (som är hans finaste skifte),
hade ingen aning om vad ”rutan” var för kommando (ja, vi har tränat på att dirigera om – men idag tittade han på mig som att jag sa något helt nytt…), och tuggade gräs i flertalet moment.
Jag älskar den där hunden över allt annat.
Men just nu undrar jag vad problemet egentligen är. Är det jag som är totalt värdelös på det här men att ingen vågat tala om det för mig?
Det som i mina ögon är bra träningspass kanske egentligen är helt jäkla kassa?!
Det börjar ju bli ett skämt, att det ALDRIG kan få fungera på tävling.
Och jag är så less på tävlingsledarnas försök att skoja till det om hans grästugg.
(Även om det självklart inte är deras fel, och de har ingen aning om hur stort problem det är.)
Hur tog vi oss ens till eliten, kan man ju undra?!

Jag veeet att det inte hjälper ett dugg att sitta här och klaga.
Men det känns så tråkigt, att inte få cred för all tid som läggs ner.
Han har ju exempelvis varit helt trygg i platsmomenten i veckan, med olika hundar, olika platser, olika avstånd till gömslet.
Annat folk på planen, utan annat folk på planen… osv, osv.
Vi har även kört mycket sitt kvar & plats i vardagen, för att nöta det ytterligare.
Vi har tränat programmet tävlingsmässigt, och även jobbat på vissa problembitar vid sidan av.
Ändå dyker det upp konstiga, oväntade beteenden.
Nåväl.
Lät honom köra en vittring, som han gjorde bra.
Belönade massor och gick av planen.

Det hjälper inte vara bitter, men jag är det ändå.
För jag vet inte vad jag ska ta till.
Att lyckas få tior rakt igenom – det kan jag köpa är svårt,
men att få hyfsade poäng på alla moment, det kan väl ändå inte vara så jäkla svårt. :-(

Bitter, uppgiven & frustrerad.
Och det tänker jag tillåta mig att vara.

Vi hörs när motivationen återvänt.

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