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uppsatsstressen.

IMG_5290

Precis för stunden, nu när jag duschat och krypit ner i renbäddad säng,
så känner jag mig inte förlamad av uppsatsstress,
och passar på att kika in till Er.

De senaste dagarna har varit tunga, och tårarna har bränt bakom ögonlocken nästan ständigt,
bara för att jag varit så jäkla trött & stressad & frustrerad,
och inte haft någon koll alls egentligen, på mitt skrivande.
För en vän räckte det med ett telefonsamtal från hennes mamma för att det skulle brista,
och hon började gråta mitt på tågstationen. En annan vän ringde mig tidigare idag,
och lät mer stressad och frustrerad än jag någonsin hört henne.
Övriga sover inte om nätterna, försover sig på mornarna,
och har inte den där vanliga glimten i ögonen, för tillfället.
Livet som student, utan rätt att påverka alls,
är verkligen sådär just nu.

Men,
om någon vecka är det värsta över.
Och tills dess försöker jag verkligen vara glad över de små sakerna,
som hjälper till att hålla huvudet hyfsat i schack.
Sådant som att blivande grannen spontant kikade in igår,
och peppade lite när pluggandet gick som långsammast,
att gårdagskvällen innebar ridhusträning,
skratt & någon timme med tankarna på annat
och att helgen inte bara kommer innebära plugg,
utan också tid med några saknade.

Sådant,
gör att man ändå påminns, om att hela livet faktiskt inte är dåligt,
bara för att det är mycket i skolan. Som det ibland kan kännas som.

Nej vad fasen.
Har jag överlevt hittills, så ska jag väl fixa ett år till också.

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