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när man får tillbaka sin prins.

IMG_9252

För nästan precis tre månader sedan, följde Diezel med goa, fina Martina
upp till nordligaste Norrland.
Det var tungt, och det skar i hjärtat den dagen.
Samtidigt som det på något vis kändes som det alldeles rätta beslutet.
För honom, för Elvin & för mig.

Jag vill gärna tro att saker & ting sker av någon slags mening,
så även detta. Och det känns verkligen som att det var så i det här fallet.

För bara en vecka efter att Diezel åkt,
så uppenbarades Elvin ryggproblem och han gavs vila hela hösten.
Alla planer på att ägna kommande månader åt träning & tävling i massor,
lades på is. Och istället har tiden ägnats åt skola & jobb,
större delen av dygnets timmar den senaste tiden.
Skola & jobb, att hålla huvudet ovanför ytan, och intala sig själv
att det kommer gå, snart är det slut, krascha inte.

Och mitt i allt det tråkiga med Elvin,
så undrar jag, om det var faktumet att Diezel inte var kvar,
som gjorde att han faktiskt vågade visa smärtan som han troligen gått med ett bra tag?
Och jag undrar hur livet hade gått ihop för min egen del,
om det varit så att jag haft 1-2 hundar i träning & tävling nu med c-uppsats och allt annat.

IMG_9244

Summan av kardemumman,
så är jag glad att jag tog det där tunga beslutet.
att Elvin tillät sig visa smärtorna så vi kunde börja jobba med dom och
att Diezel inte behövde komma i skymundan i allt det under hösten.
Att om de nödvändigtvis nu skulle bli en vilande Elvin
– att det tidsmässigt blev nu, även om det varit & är väldigt tråkigt.

som en klok människa i min närhet nyligen sa
även om du inte tar besluten, så tar besluten sig själv, det ordnar sig
Och det kanske är så.
Att beslut ibland tas av sig själva, att livet på egen hand,
gör det som behövs för att sträva efter balans.
Jämvikt.

Oavsett.
Så är han hemma igen nu, efter vad som för honom varit bästa tänkbara höst,
med kärlek & uppmärksamhet i överflöd.
Jag är så tacksam för det,
för att Martina ville ta hand om honom ett tag. Enormt tacksam.
Men nu kände jag att det var dags för honom att komma hem igen.
För om inte alltför lång tid, är livet inte lika stressigt,
och jag hoppas att, när jag blir lite mer harmonisk igen
så kommer Diezel bli det också.
Vi bestämmer så. ♥

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