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de där dagarna.

IMG_2183 IMG_1946

IMG_1949 IMG_2187

IMG_1945

Man kommer inte undan de här dagarna, de som kommer med jämna mellanrum
& innebär tentaplugg från morgon till kväll.
Jag vet det. 
Men det hjälps inte. Jag tycker de är lika jobbiga varje gång,
de innebär lika mycket stress, prestationsångest & känsla av att slösa bort hela dagarna.
Varje gång.

Och jag vet att jag och tusentals andra studenter överlevt förut, och att jag kommer göra det den här gången också.
Men ikväll tycker jag att det känns värdelöst och fruktansvärt omotiverande att vara student, och troligen imorgon också.
Sen, så kanske känslan lättar lite. Det gör den.

Men ikväll & inatt,
så sitter jag invirad i en den mjukaste filten,
med ljus tända & höstkyla som ger svaga föraningar om vinter,
utanför fönstren.
Med ett anteckningsblock i ena handen, en kopp te i den andra,
& tårar som bränner bakom ögonlocken. Av trötthet,
men också av att veta att någon jag tycker om har en så mycket tyngre kväll än jag,
av att veta att något alltid kommer fattas från och med nu.

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